The other day at the gym, while I was in the locker room getting ready to go, I met this other woman. We got to chatting about our personal health journeys. We found out that in the past year, we’ve both lost about fifty pounds each and had a similar starting weight.
I told her that I had been swimming since last year, and started strength training in January. I told her how much I was loving it. She told me that she had been doing strength training as well.
But then, she told me something that disheartened me a bit:
She said that there were some women in her life that told her not to do too much strength training. The reason? She would bulk up and look “manly”. I could tell by the look on her face that the statement from her friends made her feel deflated.
I went on to explain that for me, I didn’t care if I bulked up much (and probably wouldn't...at least, not to the extent her friends picked on her for). Strength training has so many wonderful health benefits. The challenge for me has been great. I love being able to see how much stronger I get from week to week. I love being able to feel better physically.
I also said, jokingly, that the idea of being able to flip a grown man over my head would be pretty cool. Not that I actually would; but the idea is funny. Also, my genetics have blessed me with curves. I doubt I would be mistaken for a man even with more muscle tone.
Ladies, why do we say things that would put another woman's body down? Why do we say things that would make her feel ashamed and not seek the best for herself? Making negative comments about each other’s bodies is neither encouraging nor helpful.
If I hear of a woman, regardless of any size going and doing things to challenge herself, improve her health, and defy the status quo, that is incredible to me.
You know what that says to me? That woman has strength, perseverance, and isn’t afraid to be herself. To fight for herself.
Going off of that, our bodies are not the most important things about us. Our bodies are incredible vessels that carry who we are. They carry our souls and minds. They carry our personalities. They carry the things that make us unique.
Regardless of our body’s shape or size, they will inevitably change over time. We all age. We all gain weight, lose weight. We may have hanging skin and stretch marks. We all get gray hair, or some of us lose our hair. We all get fine lines or wrinkles eventually. We all lose hearing or eyesight. When we can accept ourselves where we are, and for who we are, we can find more peace and happiness. Beauty is a light that comes from within.
"Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear; but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:4-5.
A woman of a “gentle and quiet spirit” is one who finds peace and contentment in God. It is a woman who finds purpose in loving God and people. A woman of a gentle and quiet spirit seeks out God more than the praise of others. It is not about personality or clothing tastes. It is the realization that there are things more important than appearance.
God made me to be uniquely me. God made you to be uniquely you.
If you want to have more muscle tone go for it. If you don’t, that’s fine too. If you want to be somewhere in the middle, you do you.
Our main focus should be on growing closer to God, growing as people, and growing closer in our relationships. Doing good for others. In short, Love.
Love is what makes life beautiful.
The beauty standards change about every ten years. I will never fit those standards. I don’t care to. The more we obsess over those standards, the more they suck our peace and joy away.
I would rather have peace and joy than comparing myself to standards that are unattainable at best.
However your body changes, however you grow, you still have worth, and you still matter.
Love,
Chelsea
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