And the Award for #1 Father Goes To...

My Dear Sisters in Christ,

My teen years and early twenties were really hard. You see, I always have been the kind of person that cares very much about my impact on others. I really want to make others comfortable, and I try to be careful about the things I say. Not that I haven’t made mistakes or ever lost my temper. But I hate being a bother or hurting others.

I struggled a lot in school with staying focused and organized. I was clumsy and awkward. Sometimes, I tended to say things that were really inappropriate (However, not ill-intentioned.) I often felt as if I were always doing the wrong thing, and that I was a burden on my parents and a shame. I felt as if my existence, in a sense, was pointless. Despite the fact that I was a Christian, I really did not have a grasp on my worth as a child of God.

As stated in my last article, these issues really came to a head when me and my ex broke up. Over time, I had come to realize how much I hated myself, and how much I had desperately wanted to feel loved, wanted, needed, and cherished.  

I had never thought I’d end up being the girl so desperate for a man’s attention. Yet, through my mistakes, I see that when we are insecure and greatly dislike ourselves, that leads to all kinds of difficulties in our lives. It leads to sin. We hurt ourselves and we hurt others. 

However, in this journey, I have found that He is a God of creating beauty in things that are shattered. In scripture, we read so many stories of God taking people’s messes and turning them into something incredible. 

David’s sin with Bathsheba led to her bearing Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived. We also have much to learn from the story, and the beautiful, heartfelt Psalms that came from it. 

Rahab was a prostitute who trusted in God to save them from the destruction of Jericho. She was in the lineage of Christ. 

Paul was a man who zealously persecuted Christians, but later became one of the greatest apostles. 

Hannah was barren and bullied by her husband’s second wife for it. Despite this, she trusted in her God, and she eventually bore a son. This son, Samuel, became a great Prophet. 

When God looks at us, He knows us so deeply and intimately; better than we know ourselves (Psalm 139:13-16.)There is no use in hiding from Him (here’s looking at you, Jonah!) He sees every part of us. He sees the brokenness, the sin, the shame. But, because He created us, He also knows the good that lies within us. He knows what we can become if we only choose to accept that goodness He placed into us. 

As women, we get so bogged down by shame, the desire to be perfect, look perfect, and have everything perfect, don’t we? We want the world to see how amazingly put together we are. Yet, inside, we are completely and utterly broken. 

We look for anything to numb that pain. We look for it in food, sex, attention, clothes, shopping, makeup, or spending inordinate amounts of time on our hair. Maybe even in entertainment. While there is nothing wrong with these things in and of themselves, how often do we use them as band-aids for the insecurities we are too afraid to fix?

I too am very, very guilty of using some of these things as a band-aid; when what I really needed was God. What I really needed was to fully accept His love for me as my Father.

Dear sister, you need to understand. GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH. He wants so much for you to live an abundant life (John 10:10.) He is your heavenly Father and He wants to bestow so many beautiful, rich blessings in your life. You need only accept His love, believe in it, and understand that He sees more value in you than you realize! The love and blessings He has for you are infinite!

There are so many of us that haven’t exactly had the best example of a father figure. As women, the state of the relationship or lack thereof that we had with our earthly father has a huge impact on our response to God. If we haven’t had that example in our lives it can be really hard to accept His love when we don’t know how to or what that looks like.

This was the beginning of deep healing for me in so many ways. So let us start here. 

Scripture says this about God:

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love, does not know God, for God is love…” (1 John 4:7-21.)

So we see here that God is love. In our world, love has been tainted by broken, imperfect people. But since God Himself is love, He alone must hold the answers as to what love actually is.

“Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy. It doesn’t brag, or is filled with pride. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, nor does it keep record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It protects, it trusts, hopes, and always perserveres. Love never fails….” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8.)

People often say to put the name of the person you are dating in this verse to see if this is something they really strive for. But, put God in there, and really let this sink in. Since God is love, and God put it on Paul’s heart to write this, we can be rest assured that God is truly the best Father there is. 

Think about this. Though we have heard it so much in church, it never hurts to hear it again. Jesus is God’s son, His beloved child. Jesus was pure, innocent, sinless, and blameless. God knew that there was absolutely no other way to save us from our pain and destruction that we placed on ourselves.

 He wanted to make a way for us when there was none. He allowed His son to be tortured by His skin being torn off, and nailed to a wooden cross.  He had nails in His hands and feet. He had rough wood rubbing against torn skin. On that cross, Jesus had to pull Himself up just to breathe. Can you imagine how painful that would be?

 The sacrifice of blood from spotless lamb, ox, and goat every year was not enough for the sins of the entire world. 

God endured watching His son die, and Jesus endured one of the worst torture devices ever invented, because they saw you as completely, and utterly worth it. 

My fellow sisters, if that is not love, I want to know what is. 

Dear sister, whether or not you get married, please know that there is a far greater and deeper love than any person can give you! Marriage is beautiful and created by God. However, the love that God has for us is far more beautiful.

When I fully accepted God’s love for me, and got a greater grasp on it, it changed everything. 

I realized that God loves and accepts me, despite my shortcomings. 

I realized that despite not needing me, He wants me and cherishes me. 

I accepted that I am His precious daughter.

Things went from “I have to pray” to “I want to talk to my Father.” I began to forgive myself a little more for my shortcomings. That in turn, helped me to be stronger in walking away from sin. It made me realize that if God truly loves me and my broken mess, then, I have value and worth. Developing that love makes me want to honor Him all the more. He is patient, He is gentle, He is loving. He holds me when I am in pain; and He gently admonishes me when I do wrong. He convicts me to take another way.

As His children, we have an inheritance in heaven (Ephesians 1:11.) We are given the gift of the Holy Spirit to work in our lives through the word, and to give us comfort when we need it. The Holy Spirit is the guarantee of our inheritance mentioned beforehand (Ephesians 1:13.) We have been saved with love and grace, which comes with innumerable spiritual blessings (Ephesians 2:4-8.) We are no longer strangers to God, only to stand on the outside looking in. We are fellow citizens and saints (Ephesians 2:19.) We are a royal priesthood. In God’s eyes, we are His daughters, heirs of promise (1 Peter 2:9.)

Belongs to Walt Disney Company

Start challenging those negative thoughts that tell you aren’t worth it. Look in that mirror and tell yourself that because God loves you, you’re going to choose to love you. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are every bit worthy of blessings. Why? Because God decided you were.

So please, stop rejecting His love and refusing to believe what He says about you. We do this in the way we choose to treat ourselves and speak to ourselves. A positive relationship cannot exist where one rejects or denies another’s love and affection.

In further blog posts, we will talk even more about nurturing that love we have for God. I want to talk about breaking free of the checklists we have found ourselves using. I want to talk more about also pouring more love into ourselves. 

Please leave this blog today knowing how loved, cherished and blessed you truly are, my sister. And, if it is the case that you haven’t met our God yet, or have a relationship with Him, please contact me, and I will be more than happy to talk to you about it! If you have any questions, no matter what side of the spectrum you are on, please let me know. 

I pray that this encourages you to push for more in your relationship to God! 

In Christian Love,

Chelsea