The clothing we wear and modesty is always a hot topic for Christian women. I am going to talk about modesty, but maybe not in the way you typically hear about it. Whenever we hear people talk about modesty, it's always about lust.
We've made it only about lust, when truth be told, the verses that specifically address modesty don't really mention it per se.
Let's take a look at them:
"I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls, or expensive clothing, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."-1 Timothy 2:9-10.
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."-1 Peter 3:3-4.
Let's look at some of the Greek terms that show up in the original manuscripts that describe how our dress should be.
Kosmios: Orderly
Aidous: Shamefacedness, humble, modest
Sophrosynes: Prudence, wisdom, self-control, moral
Hesychiou: Mild, Gentle
Take a break from your reading to really let that sink into your mind for a moment. In the verses above, and looking at some of the Greek terms, I think we can come to a better understanding of the meaning behind modesty.
The truth is, like everything else God teaches us in scripture, everything centers on the heart. As our heavenly Father, He knows the ways in which we can tend to struggle.
The words above are completely foreign to what today's world tells us to be. And in most times in history, to be honest. The world tells us to flaunt ourselves, and the stuff we have. The world tells us that our appearance is more important than it should be. In these verses, God tells us to humble ourselves and be more about serving others than about our appearance.
We need only look throughout history, as well as today to see that obsession with physical appearance is a huge problem for women, and it can seriously cause a lot of problems in our lives.
For instance, did you know that Queen Elizabeth the first at some point in her life started wearing lead-based makeup? It is believed that she started wearing it because she had contracted small-pox, and was left horribly scarred. She apparently ended up having some health problems from it.
Also, it used to be in China (and some small, isolated villages there apparently still practice this) that people called bonesetters would break and bend women's feet to give them a smaller appearance that was considered to be attractive.
And even today, people still undergo extreme measures to be 'beautiful':
-Many women put harsh chemicals on their hair to achieve the perfect hairstyle.
-Women obsessively exercise to obtain the 'perfect body' (which, the idea for the so-called perfect body will just change again in 10 years...here's looking at you, thigh gap). Why not exercise just to be healthy rather than have the perfect body?
-Women get plastic surgery because they hate their bodies (Note, I understand that plastic surgery is sometimes necessary, especially after a massive weight-loss). There is even a woman somewhere in the world who has gone out of her way to be a complete replica of Barbie.
God tells us to be above these things. The truth is, our appearance can become an idol. God commands modesty as the verses say, because it professes Godliness and it allows us to focus more on our inner hearts and doing good for others. The more time we focus on obsessing over our appearances, the less time we have to be a light for others.
Truth is, dressing in either extreme is against God's plan for us. Dressing in too little or too much are BOTH problems. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
-Will people be surprised to know I am a Christian because of how I dress?
-How much time do I spend obsessing over what I am going to wear?
-Do I break down if my hair or makeup isn't absolutely perfect?
-Will this lead people closer to Christ or further away? Am I shining a light?
-Am I doing this to be liked by others or for attention? (I know that not everyone necessarily does, but it's good to check in with yourself about this.)
-Do I stand in front of the mirror and cry or refuse to go out because I feel 'fat' or hate my appearance? Am I obsessing too much over society's opinion of beauty?
-Does this outfit put the focus where it needs to be? Does it let my heart shine out more? Or is it focused on how proud of my body I am, or how proud I am of the stuff I buy?
-Will participating in this particular event shine a light, or display a lack of humility on my end?
At the heart of the modesty issue is humility, our hearts, and being closer to God. If we are weighed down or preoccupied with our appearance, we cannot be the people He has called us to be. If we parade around to get people to look at our bodies or outfit, that is not being modest.
Modesty is more than what you wear; it's a total mindset. With modesty, you want God more than you want to look good. With modesty, it frees you from being anything more than what God made you to be. With modesty, there is no need to measure up to worldly standards that pass with time. You don't constantly stress about being the prettiest or the trendiest.
Is it wrong to be pretty and feminine? Nope, not at all. As a matter of fact, one of the greek words that show up mean 'orderly'. Which also means that you do look well kept, but that you don't over do it.
But it's worth it to consider whether or not how obsessed we are with it. There are things that matter far more than how we look on any given day.
When our time is focused more on growing closer to God, each other, and serving other people, there is truly an overflowing well of joy to drink from! The physical things of this world do not satisfy the way God can.
You're beautiful just the way God made you. And I sincerely hope when you read this, you believe it and live it.
Love,
Chelsea
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