Focus on Faith and Mental Health, #3: Guest Writer, Corinne Crowe

*Introduction from Chelsea*
Corinne Crowe is a very dear friend of mine. She lives in Barnwell, SC, and is married to Andrew Crowe. Together, they work with the Barnwell church of Christ. She recently graduated with her master's degree from Amridge University. Today, she writes to us about anxiety, and things she is learning of how to deal with it better. I hope you find her writing to be encouraging. I know it was for me!


Anxiety occurs to every living creature on the planet at some point during their existence. Anxiety is a natural phenomenon and was described in one of my textbooks as natural and normal; it can even help save your life. Too often it is viewed as only a bad occurrence; the only time anxiety needs to be viewed as such is when anxiety interferes with daily living on a regular basis. If anxiety tends to rule your life and you often feel like you don’t realize what is going on until after the fact, you’re not alone. 

All too often this still happens to me, and believe me, I thought I would be further along by now. But like all things, this will take time and maturity to understand and learn how to grapple my control back. The older I get, the more I realize I don’t know everything and the more wisdom is required in order to grow. Growing is never easy, and, the hardest events that happen to us can often be the ones we feel marked by. However, it is a matter of perspective when you can look back on a painful experience and derive from it the necessary lessons without an overwhelming amount of emotion. Again, allow for time and maturity. 

Even when you understand this, you won’t get it right all the time. We are imperfect and therefore we will continually stumble and fall. One of our redeeming qualities as imperfect people is in how we pick ourselves up and learn from our mistakes. How have I learned from my mistakes? Well, I’ve learned several helpful tidbits below that I would like to share. 

Be Aware of Your Feelings

In order to understand when you act off of anxiety, you need to know your warning signs. Does anxiety manifest itself in shaking, sweats, stammering, racing thoughts, nightmares, anxiety/panic attacks, etc.? Learn WHEN you are having anxiety. 

Use Grounding Techniques
When you realize you are in the middle of anxiety, understanding you are having anxiety is the first step to grounding. Grounding is when you slowly talk yourself through what is happening to you and working backwards to what caused the reaction. 

If you need to think about something else other than what caused the anxiety because dwelling on it can exacerbate the problem, then focus on deep breathing techniques: slowly in through the nose and slowly out through the mouth counting to ten for each breath intake and outtake.

Talk to a trusted friend or to a counselor…or both!

A trusted friend can easier understand us and where we are coming from. A good friend is able to tell you the truth about your attitude—whether it’s a good one or not! We need more good friends like that. 

We don’t need to justify our bad behavior. Learning where the behavior is coming from is part of the problem, but that only helps us in learning how to control it instead of letting it control us. We cannot let the reason be an excuse in justifying our sins. A counselor will have the training in order to help you understand your body and what your “anxious brain” is doing. The understanding, again, only goes so far to help us better grasp control of the situation and help us avoid sinful pitfalls.

Pick up a fun hobby. 

Something that calms you down is often something that can help you relax your mind if even for a little bit. Some of those activities that have possibly had best results are arts and crafts like crocheting and knitting, painting, coloring (there are many adult coloring books you can buy online and they have been helpful to calm anxiety), get a pet, go outside and enjoy the sun, plant a garden, read, write, play video games. 

There is an infinite amount of hobbies that you can try out. Find the one that best suits you and your needs. Just make sure that the hobby you choose is not one that you use to avoid your feelings—this is only a temporary basis to calm down until you can better face the issue(s) you’re dealing with. Never address an emotional problem while being too hungry, angry, lonely or tired (H.A.L.T.). When you feel calm, then solve your problem.

Remember you are only in control of YOU. Anxiety loves control and makes you feel like you always need to be behind the wheel. I know there have been a few situations where I have not acted my best because I did not feel in control of the situation, nor was there any way for me to be in control. My anger and frustration that manifests itself in very difficult times is actually a direct symptom of an anxiety disorder. Not an excuse, but it is a reason to understand how I act the way I do. This leads me to my next point.

Know what your triggers are. 

This goes back to being aware of yourself, but you have to dig deeper on this one. Maybe it was a certain traumatic event that occurred and with the right circumstances those feelings can be reenacted. There are times I catch my sudden change in behavior and there are times I don’t catch it at all—I’m too much in the moment. The times I catch myself as I suddenly change from calm to very angry/anxious/on-edge are clues for me to pay attention to myself. 

I don’t need to react simply because I feel that it is right at the moment. I need to be able to clearly think through the situation. Often, we can take things out of context and out of proportion, which is worse because we are accepting this distortion as truth. What we accept in our minds as truth become truth and you have to be able to discern between the two with a clear mind. 

Other triggers can be not eating or sleeping enough, piled up frustration from other scenarios, a general negative attitude, bottling emotions up, how someone says something, etc. Know what can set you off and come up with a plan to either avoid it or to handle it better. Sometimes, when I realize my sudden change in mood, I have put off eating too long and did not realize it. That is my clue to eat something and relax. Usually, the amount of frustration I am feeling does not fit the situation.

I hope you find these tidbits helpful. Over the years, I have put several of these into play and am still learning about what works and what doesn’t. I don’t mind telling you that I play video games, color, and play with my dog for relaxation techniques. When I feel too stressed and hurried, it’s a short drop to being depressed and anxious. Self-care is an important aspect in our lives because it helps to keep us balanced and focused. 

If we neglect self-care then we are choosing to be out of balance. Be aware of your limitations; everyone has them. Don’t over-extend yourself and always make time for rest and to have fun. Just getting outside is enough to help clear my head. If I’m cooped up in the house too long, I tend to become depressed. Personally, keeping a light schedule has helped me out, but not one that is too rigorous. Do what you feel like doing and don’t “worry” about the rest.