Focus on Faith and Mental Health #4: Guest Writer, Kaitlyn Richardson

Kaitlyn Richardson is a friend from Florence, AL and she attends the Petersville church of Christ. She has her own blog, as well as podcast called, "Making it in the Messy Middle".

When I was asked to write this blog post, my mind immediately went to how I could end the stigma surrounding mental health in the church. Pretty bold, am I right?

Who am I to think I could end a stigma that’s been around for basically forever?

Truth is, I can’t. I don’t have that kind of writing ability or power, but, as stubborn as I am, I still want to talk about it.

I’ve seen and heard pretty much everything you can think of when it comes to stigma in the church – from things like “just pray and study more and I promise you will feel better.” to “you’ll be able to get off your meds once you learn more discipline and trust.” all the way to “well, just stop feeling that way.”

Those words really sting when you are doing everything you can to stay afloat and people still want to judge your efforts.

My mental illness isn’t going anywhere. As hard as that is to admit to myself, it seems to be even harder for random people in my life to accept. They want to tell me exactly how to be cured when my four and a half years of therapy and 3 and a half years of medication haven’t managed that yet.

Truth is, there isn’t a cure. There are things that help, but there is no cure for what I have. Just like most mental illnesses, it is something you learn to cope with, live with, manage, and accept.

I don’t study or pray as much as I should. Most people probably don’t – after all, how much “should” we be studying and praying?

I am a firm believer in God and His great and awesome power to heal and to help those who ask Him. But I don’t think He has any plans to heal me of my bipolar disorder. I think He has plans for that and for me – just like He does for everyone with mental illness. Just like He did for everyone in the Bible who ever struggled.

So, to everyone – the ones with mental struggles, and those who think our struggles come from a lack of faith and trust and discipline, please hear this – God has a plan. 

Don’t look at the struggle as inheritably bad or wrong, because I don’t think it is. I think there is a plan for it. There is something it can be used for.

I won’t go so far as to call it a gift, because I personally know how hard these struggles are, but I do know that I have been able to reach people because of them – I have literally saved a life because of my anxiety causing me to be extra observant, I have been able to reach the hard to reach because of my life experiences.

Your pain has purpose. That doesn’t make it hurt less, I know, but I hope you will rest in God’s plain, knowing that your purpose is beautiful and magnificent because your purpose is His.

Maybe that all has very little to do with stigma. Maybe that made no sense at all. But I hope you can take away from this that there is no shame in mental health struggles. They don’t make you weak. They don’t make you less trusting or less Christian. 

They are there for a purpose and reason. They give you a different kind of strength. They hurt, and they cause struggle, but there is a plan for you. And I know you have the strength to see what that plan is.

Focus on Faith and Mental Health, #3: Guest Writer, Corinne Crowe

*Introduction from Chelsea*
Corinne Crowe is a very dear friend of mine. She lives in Barnwell, SC, and is married to Andrew Crowe. Together, they work with the Barnwell church of Christ. She recently graduated with her master's degree from Amridge University. Today, she writes to us about anxiety, and things she is learning of how to deal with it better. I hope you find her writing to be encouraging. I know it was for me!


Anxiety occurs to every living creature on the planet at some point during their existence. Anxiety is a natural phenomenon and was described in one of my textbooks as natural and normal; it can even help save your life. Too often it is viewed as only a bad occurrence; the only time anxiety needs to be viewed as such is when anxiety interferes with daily living on a regular basis. If anxiety tends to rule your life and you often feel like you don’t realize what is going on until after the fact, you’re not alone. 

All too often this still happens to me, and believe me, I thought I would be further along by now. But like all things, this will take time and maturity to understand and learn how to grapple my control back. The older I get, the more I realize I don’t know everything and the more wisdom is required in order to grow. Growing is never easy, and, the hardest events that happen to us can often be the ones we feel marked by. However, it is a matter of perspective when you can look back on a painful experience and derive from it the necessary lessons without an overwhelming amount of emotion. Again, allow for time and maturity. 

Even when you understand this, you won’t get it right all the time. We are imperfect and therefore we will continually stumble and fall. One of our redeeming qualities as imperfect people is in how we pick ourselves up and learn from our mistakes. How have I learned from my mistakes? Well, I’ve learned several helpful tidbits below that I would like to share. 

Be Aware of Your Feelings

In order to understand when you act off of anxiety, you need to know your warning signs. Does anxiety manifest itself in shaking, sweats, stammering, racing thoughts, nightmares, anxiety/panic attacks, etc.? Learn WHEN you are having anxiety. 

Use Grounding Techniques
When you realize you are in the middle of anxiety, understanding you are having anxiety is the first step to grounding. Grounding is when you slowly talk yourself through what is happening to you and working backwards to what caused the reaction. 

If you need to think about something else other than what caused the anxiety because dwelling on it can exacerbate the problem, then focus on deep breathing techniques: slowly in through the nose and slowly out through the mouth counting to ten for each breath intake and outtake.

Talk to a trusted friend or to a counselor…or both!

A trusted friend can easier understand us and where we are coming from. A good friend is able to tell you the truth about your attitude—whether it’s a good one or not! We need more good friends like that. 

We don’t need to justify our bad behavior. Learning where the behavior is coming from is part of the problem, but that only helps us in learning how to control it instead of letting it control us. We cannot let the reason be an excuse in justifying our sins. A counselor will have the training in order to help you understand your body and what your “anxious brain” is doing. The understanding, again, only goes so far to help us better grasp control of the situation and help us avoid sinful pitfalls.

Pick up a fun hobby. 

Something that calms you down is often something that can help you relax your mind if even for a little bit. Some of those activities that have possibly had best results are arts and crafts like crocheting and knitting, painting, coloring (there are many adult coloring books you can buy online and they have been helpful to calm anxiety), get a pet, go outside and enjoy the sun, plant a garden, read, write, play video games. 

There is an infinite amount of hobbies that you can try out. Find the one that best suits you and your needs. Just make sure that the hobby you choose is not one that you use to avoid your feelings—this is only a temporary basis to calm down until you can better face the issue(s) you’re dealing with. Never address an emotional problem while being too hungry, angry, lonely or tired (H.A.L.T.). When you feel calm, then solve your problem.

Remember you are only in control of YOU. Anxiety loves control and makes you feel like you always need to be behind the wheel. I know there have been a few situations where I have not acted my best because I did not feel in control of the situation, nor was there any way for me to be in control. My anger and frustration that manifests itself in very difficult times is actually a direct symptom of an anxiety disorder. Not an excuse, but it is a reason to understand how I act the way I do. This leads me to my next point.

Know what your triggers are. 

This goes back to being aware of yourself, but you have to dig deeper on this one. Maybe it was a certain traumatic event that occurred and with the right circumstances those feelings can be reenacted. There are times I catch my sudden change in behavior and there are times I don’t catch it at all—I’m too much in the moment. The times I catch myself as I suddenly change from calm to very angry/anxious/on-edge are clues for me to pay attention to myself. 

I don’t need to react simply because I feel that it is right at the moment. I need to be able to clearly think through the situation. Often, we can take things out of context and out of proportion, which is worse because we are accepting this distortion as truth. What we accept in our minds as truth become truth and you have to be able to discern between the two with a clear mind. 

Other triggers can be not eating or sleeping enough, piled up frustration from other scenarios, a general negative attitude, bottling emotions up, how someone says something, etc. Know what can set you off and come up with a plan to either avoid it or to handle it better. Sometimes, when I realize my sudden change in mood, I have put off eating too long and did not realize it. That is my clue to eat something and relax. Usually, the amount of frustration I am feeling does not fit the situation.

I hope you find these tidbits helpful. Over the years, I have put several of these into play and am still learning about what works and what doesn’t. I don’t mind telling you that I play video games, color, and play with my dog for relaxation techniques. When I feel too stressed and hurried, it’s a short drop to being depressed and anxious. Self-care is an important aspect in our lives because it helps to keep us balanced and focused. 

If we neglect self-care then we are choosing to be out of balance. Be aware of your limitations; everyone has them. Don’t over-extend yourself and always make time for rest and to have fun. Just getting outside is enough to help clear my head. If I’m cooped up in the house too long, I tend to become depressed. Personally, keeping a light schedule has helped me out, but not one that is too rigorous. Do what you feel like doing and don’t “worry” about the rest.

 

Focus on Faith and Mental Health #2: Guest Writer, Rebekah Scaggs

My name is Rebekah. I am currently a preachers wife, and also a stay at home mom to two boys and I am expecting another baby in September of this year. My life is crazy chaotic, especially since having children. Even though I don’t have a job outside my home, I struggle to get things done on a daily basis because I am constantly dealing with stress, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. 

At about the age of 15 I began to show signs of depression. I can remember days when I would lay in bed and doing nothing but stare at my bedroom walls. I’ve always felt like something was wrong with me. My moods have never been stable, and I’ve always been a very sensitive person. 

Through the years I managed my depression the best that I knew how. I never really gave much thought to seeing a counselor or going on medication to help with my symptoms. That all changed after I had my first child. After coming home from the hospital, I had a big mental breakdown, aka Post Partum Depression.

I was overwhelmed with sadness and anger; even though I felt like I should have been super happy. I just had a baby whom I loved more than anything. My hormones were out of whack, and I couldn’t think clearly about anything.

After being home for about a week, I called my doctors office and told them that I couldn’t handle my life anymore and I needed help. They made an appointment for me the following morning with my OB. Once I was able to be seen by my doctor, she prescribed some medicine and also helped me get into counseling.

Since that time, which has been six years, I have seen numerous counselors and have been able to stay on my medicine consistently. In the past six years I have moved to 3 different states, and my husband has had three different preaching jobs. During all this time, my mental health has been through a lot. There have been times when I just wanted to give up on life. I’ve had many breakdowns; more than I can count.

After moving far from family, adding two children to our lives, and having a few other serious problems that are still being addressed, it’s no wonder I haven’t been in the best place mentally and spiritually. I’ve been way too hard on myself without realizing that I was doing it. Even though some days are still extremely difficult to get through, I was able to find a piece to my life’s puzzle that changed everything for me.

Last January I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Even though I wasn’t shocked about this diagnosis, I was a little shattered at first. Now I understood what was “wrong” with me my whole life. As hard as it was to accept that this was my thorn in the flesh, I felt a lot of relief. I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, although in reality, this was something I would continue to deal with for the rest of my life.

Through all of the mental chaos that has been going on inside my head for so long, I feel that all of it has brought me closer to God. 1 Corinthians 10:13 has been a constant reminder that God has not given me more than I can bear. Philippians 4:13 says that "I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me." The apostle Paul had a thorn in his flesh that was a constant struggle for him. He asked the Lord to take the thorn away, but instead of saying no, God gave him a better answer. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 God tells Paul that “My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”. 

Even though I wake up every morning knowing that that day could be very emotionally crippling for me, I know that I can make it through because I know that I have God on my side. As long as I choose Him, He will help me get through anything that seems impossible. Not only through prayer and Bible reading has He given me comfort in hard times, but also through my counseling and medication. I give Him all the credit for helping me get to a point in my life where I know I can handle whatever dark valley I go through.

Focus on Faith and Mental Health #1: My Life With OCD

Dear Sisters in Christ,

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is a condition that is very much misunderstood by most. One need only look into popular culture to see that, more often than not, it is talked about in jest. Or, (*cringe*) used to describe people who like things to be in order all the time.

I have OCD. I am going to be honest and tell you right up front that is rather frustrating to have a condition that is constantly being made fun of. I know and understand that many people mean well, and aren't trying to be hurtful. But I am hoping this article can shed some light of what it is like living with it, and that you can better understand what it's really about.

To begin, let's just get this out of the way:

I am not, in anyway shape or form, a neat freak. I do not obsess over things being straight, nor am I a germaphobe. I am not the living embodiment of Monk or Monica Gheller. 

People who know me well will tell you quite the opposite. Not that I am a slob, but housekeeping is not one of my favorite activities (especially where dishes are concerned.) My Mom will tell you that I have a very bad habit of leaving my art supplies haphazardly scattered all about the living room.

There are some people whose OCD can have the trait of compulsive cleaning, but most people with the condition don't actually have that. I've only met one person with OCD who has that compulsion.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder begins with Obsessions, or Intrusive thoughts. That is the number one hallmark of OCD. With intrusive thoughts, you can be diagnosed with it, even if you do not necessarily have compulsive habits to go along with it. This is the category I mostly fall in; though I have had a few compulsory habits over the years. The compulsions usually occur as habits that those with OCD use to try and quiet the obsessive thoughts. (1)

So, how do these intrusive thoughts work? It's different for different people. However, I will explain how it began for me.

My early twenties were a very difficult time for me. My life was basically in shambles. I am pretty sure that the stress of that time led to my brain going completely haywire in the way it did.

 I think I always had intrusive thoughts of different kinds before this. However, the ones that came up around this time were more brutal than anything I had experienced up to that point.

One night, maybe around age 20, or 21, I was lying in bed trying to go to sleep. When, all of the sudden, a thought popped into my head. It was of a religious nature, and a very, very negative and bad one at that. I am not going to say specifically what it was. It unnerved me to say the absolute least. 

Then, the thought kept playing over, and over again in my mind, like a broken record player. Nothing I did would make it go away. I quoted scripture like crazy. I prayed with all my heart. It was worse at night; and thus began a series of nights where I had panic attacks, and not much sleep.

The hard thing about the intrusive thought was that I knew how ridiculous it was that it was there. I didn't want it. I don't even know why it popped into my head in the first place. I had absolutely no feelings whatsoever related to that thought. It was just there, harassing me and grinding me down to utter nothingness and dust. 

My fighting and inner battle exhausted me and I was trying my absolute hardest to hide it from everyone. I was convinced that if I opened up about it, people would view me as insane. Or worse, a bad Christian.

After a while, I seriously began questioning my own sanity. I began to doubt everything about myself, including my salvation in God. If this thought was there so heavily, repeating itself over and over again, did that say something significant about me? Was I actually just fooling myself? 

I would constantly be in a state of telling myself: "Don't think! Don't think! Don't think....!" Yet, the more I told myself this, the worse it got. 

It didn't occur to me at the time that it was making it worse. However, I didn't have any other idea of how to deal with it. 

It's hard to explain intrusive thoughts to people who don't have them. People with healthier brains can get those weird, random thoughts, and they just move on and it never comes back. For those of us with OCD, however, it isn't that simple.

I literally thought that my brain was my absolute worse enemy. I began to hate myself, as well as my mind.

I finally opened up about it to my parents, because my inner state and my life was becoming more and more of a nightmare that I absolutely could not handle on my own. I was sent to a psychiatrist, and he put me on Prozac. The relief was instantaneous, albeit, short-lived. I began to feel physically better than I had in a long time.

However, over time, the thoughts started coming back, and I had to keep increasing the dosage. That was very frustrating. I continued to deal with the thoughts and felt like I was continually hitting brick walls. (Not to mention the crazy side-effects. I had constant nightmares and sleep paralysis on Prozac.)

I began to wonder if eventually, my mind was going to be the absolute death of me. I asked God to take the thoughts away, because I wasn't sure how much more I could possibly take. I begged, and begged for it. 

This next part of the story may sound a little strange, but bear with me.

I had another thought that started popping into my head. It wasn't intrusive, but they were words:

"My grace is sufficient for you...."

Those words began repeating themselves over and over again in my heart. Yet, I ignored it for a long time. For some reason, at this point, I had forgotten about the account in scripture of Paul's thorn in the flesh. I thought the words were maybe from a sermon I had heard, but I could not recall all the details.

I decided to look it up. 

2 Corinthians 12:6-10 talks about Paul's thorn in the flesh. It talks about how he had pleaded with God to take away from him the issue that he was dealing with. Yet, God didn't. God told Paul His grace was sufficient and absolutely enough for him. He told Paul that, through his weaknesses and struggles, God would be glorified.

I broke down and cried. Because, right there, God had answered my prayer. I finally understood. He wasn't going to take my issues away. Rather, there was a promise there; a promise that He would make me stronger through it. 

Let me say and make it very clear that I do not think that God was "speaking" to me. That is not what I am saying at all. I do believe, however, He was trying to help me remember Paul's example that I had forgotten. Through the word, the Holy Spirit does amazing work in our hearts. 

At that point, I had begun to accept that I might very well struggle with this the rest of my life. And the truth was, I still am. I accepted that, somehow, God was going to use this craziness inside my head for the better. That definitely began some healing and a renewed sense of hope. 

However, attending Freed-Hardeman University was a big turning point in my life. I was able to receive counseling, and for the first time, I was actually receiving tools to help with the intrusive thoughts.

The first step was just accepting that they are there, and that weird thoughts were going to come with this condition. I also had to accept that they had nothing to do with me personally. They are the result of living in a broken world, and a result of a brain that was ill. I'm going to be honest, getting to fully accept that was not easy. It took a lot of changing in the way I saw things and thought about them. 

Next I had to accept that it was a tool of the enemy to try and break me. 

Satan is real, he is active, and he is working. He looks for any weakness that he can exploit (1 Peter 5:8.) And yes, he can even use health conditions as a way to wiggle his way in. We all have weaknesses and things that we struggle with. We all have temptations, and most usually have health conditions of one kind or another. 

This is why we have to stay alert and vigilant. With the brokenness of the world we find ourselves in, we have to cling to God and His word, His promises. We have to cling to one another as siblings in Christ.

OCD is a very difficult condition to live with; however, I get a little stronger everyday. I still take medication. It isn't Prozac anymore, but I take a small dose. I take health supplements. I try to spend more time outside. I snuggle with my dog, Jolie, who is my emotional support animal. I go to counseling. I do my best to make my spiritual life a priority. I put on silly cartoons and I laugh my head off. I spend as much time with family and friends as I can.

God gives us many tools that we can use to fight. God works through many incredible avenues, whether it be medicine, exercise, or whatever it is. 

To conclude, if you struggle with any kind of condition, or if you think you have OCD, you are not alone. There is hope, and there is always a reason to keep fighting. The best thing you can do is tell someone and reach out for help! Please understand that mental illness is an illness of the brain, and that there are ways to help it and fight it.

I am opening up about my story because I want people to better understand what it means to have this condition. I want there to be more compassion for it. And I also want people to understand that it is more than okay to be open about it and reach for help. If someone treats you like a weirdo or doesn't offer you compassion, go find someone else who will listen to you. There is someone out there who will be understanding. As someone who has been there, I am a safe person to talk to, and I will do my best to point you toward resources and people that can help!

God doesn't leave us to float alone. God works through people and things to help us in our times of need. That is how he blesses us. That is how I have made it this far; because of my faith and the people around me. If you need a light, and a little hope, and maybe even faith, I am more than happy to share that with you. Stay strong.

Love, 

Chelsea

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1.https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000929.htm. "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder"

Shining a Light on Sin

Dear Sisters in Christ,

Do you know what a light box is? A light box is a tool used by artists for tracing. You put a drawing on top of the lit up box, and put another paper over top to trace the picture. Artists often will make a pre-drawing and if they like it, will redraw it. A light box is an easy way to replicate a pre-drawing. 

Without a way to see the lines, it can be hard to follow the pattern to trace; such as with life and following God. When we shine a light on our lives, it is far easier to see and conform to the pattern that God has laid out for us. How do we do that?

For one, through His word. 

Psalm 119:105 says, "Your word is a lamp for my feet, and a light to my path."

God's word tells us everything we need to know in order to live this life (2 Peter 1:3.) His word creates belief in our hearts (Romans 10:17.) It opens our eyes and convicts us to go another way (Hebrews 4:12.)

God's word is the basis for our life.

That being said, why wouldn't we want to fill our lives with as much of His word as possible? When we choose to shine a light with His word, and accept the Holy Spirit's working in us, it changes everything.  

This leads to an issue I would like to address. Since our lives should be filled with His spirit and His word, likewise, our brethren in Christ are light bearers. We are His church, His body. The church should be a massive light, blotting out the darkness in our wake. (Matthew 5:14.)

And still, we have to allow that light to touch us. By really being involved with our church family, that is one of the best ways to do that. They hold us accountable. They encourage us, and push us (Hebrews 3:13, 1 Thessalonians 5:11.) But we have to let them do so. (We also need to be the kind of people that others can open up to, but we'll talk about that a little further down)

When we try to keep things hidden, things stay in the dark. Sin likes the darkness. It grows like a tumor, or a parasite, consuming our souls. However, the more light we shine on the sin, the more it retreats. Darkness cannot thrive where light is.

It isn't that the temptation won't be there. Temptation will always be a thing. But there are many, many ways of escape that God offers us (1 Corinthians 10:13.) One of those ways is bearing one another's burdens.

Sometimes, the best thing we can do is just be open about how we are struggling. Is it hard? Yes. Yet, the bigger the struggle, the more light you need to shine on it. 


Next, I want to discuss the kind of people we ought to be in order to be good support for our brothers and sisters.

When beginning to talk about being a support, it starts with the things we say about and to others. The things we say can hurt or help people's decision to open up in a time of need. If we go around calling certain people disgusting, gossiping and "spilling tea", saying judgmental or hurtful things about others, what makes you think people are going to want to come to us with their troubles? If we share things that make fun of or demean others on social media, what kind of image does that give off?

People will know we are Christians by our love for each other, as well as other people. (John 13:34-35.) 

In order to truly shine a light on sin, we must first be humble and realize that we are all sinners in God's sight, (Romans 3:23, James 4:10.) We have to realize that the way we speak about people struggling with certain sins, or living in certain sins will prevent people from coming forward and asking for support and help.

There are many people I know who were struggling with certain sins for many years in secret finally left the church and walked away from God. They never opened up out of fear of how they would be viewed or treated. 

Talking badly about people committing certain sins is pride, plain and simple. When we get to this point, whether we want to admit it or not, we are comparing ourselves to them and thinking that "at least we aren't as bad as them!" If you are doing this, stop it. Right now.

In God's sight, yes you are. But, somehow, God still wanted to extend grace to you anyway. This is the kind of attitude that Jesus often called out in the Pharisees and religious leaders of His day. We must clothe ourselves in humility. None of us are immune to sin, and God sees all sin as horrible. (1 Corinthians 10:11-13.)

I am not saying that every group in the church is this way, but we have to be vigilant of our minds and our tongues; that we are walking in love, compassion, and understanding. (Ephesians 4:29, James 1:26, Titus 3:2, 1 Corinthians 13:1.) We have to take this seriously. As the church, we have to support and love one another with everything we have. We all need this reminder.

We are supposed to restore our brethren in love and gentleness. (Galatians 6:1) Sisters, (and brothers too, if you're reading this) please be aware of how you speak. If we truly want to shine a light on sin, and help our brothers and sisters, we have be people of love, peace, kindness, humility, and gentleness. 

The more open you can be, the more strength there is in numbers to hold you accountable. I am not saying you necessarily need to bare every little secret for the world to see. However, trying to hide our troubles and suffering in secret, as I have found, gets us absolutely nowhere in terms of growing and bearing fruit. Let's just be honest.

And, really look at your situation to figure out how open you need to be. Maybe you need a few soldiers holding you accountable, or maybe you need a whole army backing you up.

To wrap up, let the word of God be our guide, and convict us. Let the Holy Spirit work in us through His word. Next, we have our brothers and sisters in Christ for a reason! It's okay to be open and bare your soul about who you are. On the other flip-side, we truly need to be the kind of people that others can bare their souls to. 

I am very fortunate to have been a part of a group of believers who love each other so very much. Never once have I felt judged for my problems in this group of people. But I know that not everyone is as fortunate. 

We need to take sin seriously; but for a Christian, taking sin seriously means walking in humility with their own shortcomings and encouraging our brethren in their walk with God. Let us be whom God has called us to be.

Love,

Chelsea