Bitterness is a tough problem. I really believe that it is a problem at one point or another for most. It definitely has been for me.
There was a person in my life that I had a lot of strife with. There was much much anger and hurt. There was a lot of misunderstanding. For years I held onto anger, and continued to hold onto everything that transpired between me and this person. I was miserable.
I allowed a thorny, twisted vine of bitterness take hold of my heart. It squeezed out so much joy from my life.
This person and I are in a better place now. We aren't angry with each other, and we are able to communicate far better than we did before.
Bitterness is not something God wants us to hang onto in our lives (Ephesians 4:31-32, Hebrews 12:15.) Bitterness is holding onto anger and refusing to let something go. In Hebrews 12:15, we read that bitterness can cause division and strife within the body of Christ.
Allowing yourself to hang onto bitterness takes away the joy God wants us to have for our lives. Joy is a fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22). When we stay stagnant in bitterness, it keeps us from bearing fruit. Bitterness, like any other sin, prevents us from growing as a person, and growing closer to God and others. It prevents us from loving others as God has called us to do.
Note, I am not talking about how feelings come and go in our lives. When someone hurts us in some way, it is definitely traumatic. But I very much believe we have a choice in whether or not we hang on to that long-term.
Here's the crux of the matter: when you wallow in bitterness, you give the person that hurt you the power. You are continuing to allow them to control your life. You are allowing them to dictate your life. You are allowing the anger and the hurt to guide your steps and how you respond to things.
And you know who you aren't allowing to guide your steps? God.
Yes, you heard me right. When we become so obsessed and focused on what someone did, it takes our focus away from where it should be.
When we take our eyes off of God, and refuse to leave that person in His hands, we choose to be held in bondage. Are you going to remember and have feelings about that situation sometimes? Yes, and you need to acknowledge it. You need to accept that feeling, and you need to honor it. You were hurt.
And then, you need to take a deep breath, and pray. Pray for yourself, pray for that person. Then you need to allow God and His spirit to comfort you and set you on the right path again. That is taking your hurt and putting it in God's hands.
Then, use that hurt to help others in need. Learn from it, and help others who are struggling. God works through His people to help the world.
To conclude, sisters, it is okay to have feelings over being hurt. But do not let that event define you. Do not let feelings of anger, hatred, and wrath consume you. Do not allow it to direct your steps. Only God should have that power. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Take back your joy. You can do it. I believe in you.
Love,
Chelsea
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