A few years ago, I found myself in a serious situation. I was in school, and living a mile off of campus in a duplex by myself with my dog. I had no car. I walked to school everyday, and walked back after my classes were finished.
I wasn't able to hang out with friends much, or socialize. As soon as school got out in the afternoon, I had to head straight home to take care of my dog.
It started off great. I was really glad to be living by myself for the first time, whether or not I had a car. It wasn't easy, I'll be honest. Sometimes it was hard to find rides in order to get groceries. There were some days I had to walk with up to four heavy grocery bags. Although, eventually I had someone that I could call that would be able to help me if I needed it.
Due to my social isolation, even at school, it started to have an effect on me. I began having suicidal thoughts, and I wanted to hurt myself.
I felt like I was a drain on everyone around me. I felt like I wasn't really contributing anything worthwhile. I began having suicidal thoughts and a desire to hurt myself.
This was definitely one of my lowest points in life, and it was really hard.
One day while walking to school, I finally had a moment of reality hit me. I began to question why I was having these thoughts and why I was beginning to feel this way. I knew then that it wasn't good. I then realized that I needed to do something.
I told my Mom. She told me to tell my friends and go back to counseling. So I did. I was able to move back to campus with my dog, and I got help.
I want to make this point: The absolute best thing you can do when you're feeling suicidal is to speak up and tell someone!
Is it scary? Absolutely. It is hard to bare your soul to people; because, often we don't always know for sure how they will respond. We don't know always know what they are going to say.
I was fortunate because I have some very supportive people in my life. I understand that isn't the case for some people. For those who are in that situation, there is someone out there who will take you seriously and listen.
Whatever side of the spectrum you fall on, with supportive people or no, your life is worth fighting for. Don't listen to the voices of the enemy (and other people) who tell you otherwise. Don't listen to those voices that tell you that you have nothing worthwhile to give or offer.
God made you for a reason. He sent his only son to die for you, knowing that it was the only way to cleanse us from our sins. (John 3:16.) He WANTS a relationship with you, to show you just how precious you are to Him. He wants you to know that your life is worth living, and that He can make beauty out of your mess.
It doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter what you have done. It doesn't matter what other people say about you or think about you. He sees you as His precious child, and He wants you to believe it.
If you want to know more about God's love and how precious you are to Him, send me a message, and I will be glad to help. I am also a safe person to talk to if you feel like you don't want to live your life anymore. I have been there, and I also can point you in the direction of some resources that can help.
Also, a good number to call is the National Suicide Hotline. This number has trained counselors on their staff to talk to you and help you. Another resource is "To Write Love on Her Arms". This is an organization that helps people find resources for dealing with suicidal thoughts, drug addiction, self-injury, and suicide. I will post how to access these resources and others, down below.
Whatever you do, don't give up. Trust that God has a beautiful plan for your life. Just keep fighting. This won't last forever.
Love,
Chelsea
------
1. National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
2. To Write Love on Her Arms: www.twloha.com
3. MentalHealth.gov
4. Psychology Today. This website has listings of therapists all over the country to help you find the best fit for you. www.psychologytoday.com
No comments:
Post a Comment