Getting Real About Prayer

Dear Sisters in Christ,

Prayer is one of those tasks as Christians that can often become one of those “checklist” tasks. I am very sure that every single one of us at one time or another in our walk with God push prayer up at the end of our busy days, and only acknowledge Him as we are closing our eyes.

Been there, done that, more times that I can possibly count!

Don’t get me wrong. There is truly nothing wrong than ending our day talking to our Father. I also am of the opinion that there is no better way to drift off to sleep than in His arms. (Let’s stop being so hard on ourselves for falling asleep while really talking to Him.)

But I am talking about when we choose to rush our prayers at the end of the day. You know, we do it because we feel bad that we did not pray the rest of the day. We also rush through it because we are tired. 

Yeah. That kind of prayer.

Going off of our previous articles, it’s hard to really, fully give our hearts to God if our hearts are not in it. If we don’t really have a grasp on His love, compassion, and care for us, our spiritual lives become a chore. That is not love on our end. That is fear. While we need to "fear" God, that form of fear for Christians means deep respect and reverence rather than terror.

But for those who choose to follow Him, He wants us to understand that He loves us and WANTS a relationship with us. He doesn't want us to serve Him out of fear of being condemned to hell. If we have chosen to follow Him and walk in the light, we have no fear of that. (1 John 4:12-19 is a passage that beautifully explains this. Go read!)

Love takes time, energy, and intention to nurture.

If you have kids or fur-babies, family members, spouses, friends, etc...let me pose this to you: 

How do we bond or grow closer with them? We grow closer to them by talking, laughing, spending time together, encouraging, caring for them, and by physical touch. 

Belongs to Walt Disney Company

Can you even imagine giving these people only a small portion of what we give often give  to God?

When we feel inadequate in ourselves, it is so hard to think that God actually wants to hear from us. I know for me, I treated prayer as a chore because God wanted me to pray. But I was not pouring out my heart. Deep down, I did not believe that God actually wanted to hear from me. I did not believe that He cared that much about my petty problems or even helping me with the sins I struggle with.

If I truly had believed that, the prayers I prayed would have reflected it.

If I had truly believed that prayer worked and that God cared, I would have dedicated more time to it.

If I had grasped that God actually wants me to talk to Him, I would have given and found more time to do so.

Things have been changing for me. I actually want to talk to Him about everything. I look forward to the times when I can focus an unload and share my burdens with Him. I look forward to it because I believe that He truly loves and cares for me. 

And when I finish praying, I walk away feeling refreshed, renewed, joyful, calm, or comforted. Or all of the above.

I often pray in the car, or at work when my babies are napping. I pray when I take walks on sunny days. I also pray when I turn in for the evening. When I feel overwhelmed, temptation comes, or something is troubling me, I try to stop and pray. 

Let’s also put it this way: Life is daily battle. We are doing war with darkness every. Single. Day. 

We have to take that seriously. We cannot be adequately prepared for the battle that lies ahead of us day after day if we go in unprepared. We become equipped, strengthened, and prepared through prayer and His word (Study is a topic for another day.) When we love God and wish to honor Him, that changes how we view our day to day.  (Ephesians 6:10-18.)

Belongs to New Line Cinema

Take a cue from prayers in the bible. There are many in the Psalms, throughout the Old Testament and New. What can we learn and see from these prayers?

“You God, are my God, and earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld Your power and Your glory. Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you for as long as I live, and in your name I life up my hands….” (Psalm 63:1-4)

In this Psalm, we see that the writer is crying out for God to completely take over their life. The writer is deeply aware of their need for God. They know that His love satisfies and carries them through life. 

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; remove my transgressions. Wash away all my wrong doing and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against You, only You have I sinned and done what is evil before you; You are a just judge, and Your verdict is true…” (Psalm 51:1-4)

This Psalm was written by David after his sin of adultery with Bathsheba, and murdering her husband. He realizes that he was wrong and begs God to forgive him and turn his heart back to Him. Here, David realizes that his sin will ever be before him, but he knows that with God’s love, mercy, and forgiveness, he can move forward and live a life anew.

“O Lord of Hosts, if you will look upon Your servant  and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to Your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord  all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.” (1 Samuel 1:11)

Here, we see Hannah fervently calling out to God for a son. She had been unable to conceive and was constantly tormented and harrassed by her husband’s other wife Peninnah (possibly out of jealousy, since it also says that her husband was crazy in love with Hannah.) She prayed with all her heart and begged God. But, she also walked away trusting that God would provide. (Psalm 37:4.)

“...And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth.  I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they all may be one, just as You, Father, are in me, and I am in You, that they may also be in us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me...O Righteous Father, even though the world does not know You, I know You, and these know that You have sent me. I made known to them Your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which You have loved me, may be in them and I in them.” (John 17:19-21, 25-26.)

“My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but as You will.” (Matthew 26:39.)

Both of these prayers were prayed by Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane before Judas came back in betrayal. He knew what was coming. He felt alone, he felt scared. But also looking ahead to the end result that would come after His torture and His death. 

He prayed for unity in His disciples, and in the future of the church. He prayed for love to flourish. Do we really pray for our congregations and the church as a whole? Do we pray for its future and for love to blossom like an open meadow in springtime? Do we pray for love to reign supreme? (John 13:35.)

Also, we must consider the humanity of Jesus, especially in His prayer of submission to God. Jesus, the son of God, who WAS and IS God, the great I AM, the One that created everything, was scared. (Matthew 26:38.) 

And Jesus, who is God, who we think shouldn’t be afraid, shared very raw and openly how He felt. He did not sugar coat anything. Even on the cross, He exclaimed how He was feeling to His Father (Matthew 27:36.) He was separated from His Father, and in incredible distress, physically and emotionally. 

From all the prayers we have seen, especially the one that Jesus prayed, these individuals poured their hearts out to God in all sorts of situations. They did not try to be perfect. They didn’t pray just because they thought it had to be done. They did it because they knew their heavenly Father heard them and cared enough to listen. They did it because they earnestly wanted to seek Him out. They did it because they trusted Him enough to listen and make a way. (1 Peter 5:7, Psalm 55:22.)

We don’t need to be eloquent; but our prayers must be raw, honest, and emotional. Our prayers should reflect respect, humility, but without holding back how we are feeling. 

Because through honesty, and an open heart, that is how relationships are formed.

Dear sisters, I am working on this too. I am not perfect, but I want an even deeper relationship with my heavenly Father. Prayer is one of the strongest ways in which we do that. He wants His children to converse with Him, and pour our their hearts to Him. Don’t be afraid to tell Him exactly what you feel.

He’s waiting for You to trust Him enough.

This week to end this post, here is a video of an incredible prayer from the movie, War Room. The movie deals a lot with prayer, and if you have not seen it, I encourage you to give it a watch. 

In Christian Love,

Chelsea

P.S.: Next post, we will talk about some creative ways to ramp up our prayer game!

And the Award for #1 Father Goes To...

My Dear Sisters in Christ,

My teen years and early twenties were really hard. You see, I always have been the kind of person that cares very much about my impact on others. I really want to make others comfortable, and I try to be careful about the things I say. Not that I haven’t made mistakes or ever lost my temper. But I hate being a bother or hurting others.

I struggled a lot in school with staying focused and organized. I was clumsy and awkward. Sometimes, I tended to say things that were really inappropriate (However, not ill-intentioned.) I often felt as if I were always doing the wrong thing, and that I was a burden on my parents and a shame. I felt as if my existence, in a sense, was pointless. Despite the fact that I was a Christian, I really did not have a grasp on my worth as a child of God.

As stated in my last article, these issues really came to a head when me and my ex broke up. Over time, I had come to realize how much I hated myself, and how much I had desperately wanted to feel loved, wanted, needed, and cherished.  

I had never thought I’d end up being the girl so desperate for a man’s attention. Yet, through my mistakes, I see that when we are insecure and greatly dislike ourselves, that leads to all kinds of difficulties in our lives. It leads to sin. We hurt ourselves and we hurt others. 

However, in this journey, I have found that He is a God of creating beauty in things that are shattered. In scripture, we read so many stories of God taking people’s messes and turning them into something incredible. 

David’s sin with Bathsheba led to her bearing Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived. We also have much to learn from the story, and the beautiful, heartfelt Psalms that came from it. 

Rahab was a prostitute who trusted in God to save them from the destruction of Jericho. She was in the lineage of Christ. 

Paul was a man who zealously persecuted Christians, but later became one of the greatest apostles. 

Hannah was barren and bullied by her husband’s second wife for it. Despite this, she trusted in her God, and she eventually bore a son. This son, Samuel, became a great Prophet. 

When God looks at us, He knows us so deeply and intimately; better than we know ourselves (Psalm 139:13-16.)There is no use in hiding from Him (here’s looking at you, Jonah!) He sees every part of us. He sees the brokenness, the sin, the shame. But, because He created us, He also knows the good that lies within us. He knows what we can become if we only choose to accept that goodness He placed into us. 

As women, we get so bogged down by shame, the desire to be perfect, look perfect, and have everything perfect, don’t we? We want the world to see how amazingly put together we are. Yet, inside, we are completely and utterly broken. 

We look for anything to numb that pain. We look for it in food, sex, attention, clothes, shopping, makeup, or spending inordinate amounts of time on our hair. Maybe even in entertainment. While there is nothing wrong with these things in and of themselves, how often do we use them as band-aids for the insecurities we are too afraid to fix?

I too am very, very guilty of using some of these things as a band-aid; when what I really needed was God. What I really needed was to fully accept His love for me as my Father.

Dear sister, you need to understand. GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH. He wants so much for you to live an abundant life (John 10:10.) He is your heavenly Father and He wants to bestow so many beautiful, rich blessings in your life. You need only accept His love, believe in it, and understand that He sees more value in you than you realize! The love and blessings He has for you are infinite!

There are so many of us that haven’t exactly had the best example of a father figure. As women, the state of the relationship or lack thereof that we had with our earthly father has a huge impact on our response to God. If we haven’t had that example in our lives it can be really hard to accept His love when we don’t know how to or what that looks like.

This was the beginning of deep healing for me in so many ways. So let us start here. 

Scripture says this about God:

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love, does not know God, for God is love…” (1 John 4:7-21.)

So we see here that God is love. In our world, love has been tainted by broken, imperfect people. But since God Himself is love, He alone must hold the answers as to what love actually is.

“Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy. It doesn’t brag, or is filled with pride. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, nor does it keep record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It protects, it trusts, hopes, and always perserveres. Love never fails….” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8.)

People often say to put the name of the person you are dating in this verse to see if this is something they really strive for. But, put God in there, and really let this sink in. Since God is love, and God put it on Paul’s heart to write this, we can be rest assured that God is truly the best Father there is. 

Think about this. Though we have heard it so much in church, it never hurts to hear it again. Jesus is God’s son, His beloved child. Jesus was pure, innocent, sinless, and blameless. God knew that there was absolutely no other way to save us from our pain and destruction that we placed on ourselves.

 He wanted to make a way for us when there was none. He allowed His son to be tortured by His skin being torn off, and nailed to a wooden cross.  He had nails in His hands and feet. He had rough wood rubbing against torn skin. On that cross, Jesus had to pull Himself up just to breathe. Can you imagine how painful that would be?

 The sacrifice of blood from spotless lamb, ox, and goat every year was not enough for the sins of the entire world. 

God endured watching His son die, and Jesus endured one of the worst torture devices ever invented, because they saw you as completely, and utterly worth it. 

My fellow sisters, if that is not love, I want to know what is. 

Dear sister, whether or not you get married, please know that there is a far greater and deeper love than any person can give you! Marriage is beautiful and created by God. However, the love that God has for us is far more beautiful.

When I fully accepted God’s love for me, and got a greater grasp on it, it changed everything. 

I realized that God loves and accepts me, despite my shortcomings. 

I realized that despite not needing me, He wants me and cherishes me. 

I accepted that I am His precious daughter.

Things went from “I have to pray” to “I want to talk to my Father.” I began to forgive myself a little more for my shortcomings. That in turn, helped me to be stronger in walking away from sin. It made me realize that if God truly loves me and my broken mess, then, I have value and worth. Developing that love makes me want to honor Him all the more. He is patient, He is gentle, He is loving. He holds me when I am in pain; and He gently admonishes me when I do wrong. He convicts me to take another way.

As His children, we have an inheritance in heaven (Ephesians 1:11.) We are given the gift of the Holy Spirit to work in our lives through the word, and to give us comfort when we need it. The Holy Spirit is the guarantee of our inheritance mentioned beforehand (Ephesians 1:13.) We have been saved with love and grace, which comes with innumerable spiritual blessings (Ephesians 2:4-8.) We are no longer strangers to God, only to stand on the outside looking in. We are fellow citizens and saints (Ephesians 2:19.) We are a royal priesthood. In God’s eyes, we are His daughters, heirs of promise (1 Peter 2:9.)

Belongs to Walt Disney Company

Start challenging those negative thoughts that tell you aren’t worth it. Look in that mirror and tell yourself that because God loves you, you’re going to choose to love you. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are every bit worthy of blessings. Why? Because God decided you were.

So please, stop rejecting His love and refusing to believe what He says about you. We do this in the way we choose to treat ourselves and speak to ourselves. A positive relationship cannot exist where one rejects or denies another’s love and affection.

In further blog posts, we will talk even more about nurturing that love we have for God. I want to talk about breaking free of the checklists we have found ourselves using. I want to talk more about also pouring more love into ourselves. 

Please leave this blog today knowing how loved, cherished and blessed you truly are, my sister. And, if it is the case that you haven’t met our God yet, or have a relationship with Him, please contact me, and I will be more than happy to talk to you about it! If you have any questions, no matter what side of the spectrum you are on, please let me know. 

I pray that this encourages you to push for more in your relationship to God! 

In Christian Love,

Chelsea

You Probably Did Not Know This About Me...

To my Dear Sisters in Christ,

I am so excited to have you here on this new journey with me. Recently, I decided I wanted to take my blogging in a bit of a different direction. I have been learning so much here in my twenties about what it means to be in a relationship with God, and living our best, most abundant lives.

A faith journey is one that is always very personal, and full of twists and turns. As a 28 year old woman (29 in just a few months) I have been through a lot that has changed me in so many ways.

As far as the journey in my faith is concerned, the biggest turning point was the end of my first dating relationship. That relationship broke me, and slammed me hard against rock bottom. While there was much pain, it led to something beautiful: a new chapter in my relationship with God.


The relationship with my ex began in late 2012, and ended in early 2014 about a week before Valentine’s Day.

Some friends introduced us. I had some very deep reservations when I had first viewed his Facebook page. A friend of his had shared a picture of a scantily clad woman on his timeline. One thing that raised a red flag for me was that he did not tell his friend that it was inappropriate, nor did he remove it. As a young Christian woman who, at the time wasn’t even intending to kiss until her wedding day, this was extremely concerning.

People were pressuring me to give him a chance. They were telling me things like,

“You never know until you try.”

“He’s a young Christian who just needs a good woman to set him straight.”

“You might regret it one day if you don’t.”

Let me say that, I knew these people meant well, and were just trying to help me find happiness. I cannot fault them for that, and I am grateful for their good hearts.

However, this 21 year old young woman was in a very difficult place. Despite the fact that I had given my life to Christ, I still felt unworthy. I felt unloved. I felt uncherished. I hated who I was on the inside. I saw myself as a burden and a complete failure. I felt like my life was going nowhere and in some ways, pointless. However, if you knew me at the time, you would have never known this. I would have not admitted it.

I entered into this relationship so broken. My defenses of purity in this relationship were chipped away little by little. In my desperation to be loved and cherished, I ended up letting go of most of my physical boundaries. Despite being in sin, I loved the attention and feeling like I mattered to a guy. I poured everything I had into the relationship. But it was not enough.

I had made this person my everything, gave just about everything, but he decided he did not love me.

I was in very deep pain for a month. I felt like I could not go anywhere without bursting into tears. It was excruciating. There is no other word for it.

Yet, despite the sin and brokenness I had found myself in, God had not given up on me. In times when I had given up on myself, when I had questioned my goodness, when I questioned my worth, He remained constant and steadfast.

Ever since the day of the break up, God has been doing some serious work inside of me. 6 years of refining and growth have led me to where I am now.

The biggest lesson I specifically learned from that situation is that God is truly the only one who deserves the number one spot in my life. I realized that, before the break up, I did not actually have a grasp on what it truly meant to be in a relationship with God. I also had begun to learn that I did not truly value myself in the way that I should. Those two things led to a complete mess.

My ex told me that I needed to work on my “Daddy Issues”. Well, he was right.

My life has never been easy. My biological father was an alcoholic. He and my Mom’s relationship was very tumultuous. My Mom remarried, but my stepfather and I had a difficult relationship while I was growing up. He and I were individually dealing with our own issues and we clashed. Thankfully, he and I are in a much better place now. I have a very deep respect for him, and I love and care about him very much.

But, through study, prayer, and help from some mentors, I began to understand that what I was looking for came through God. God is my heavenly Father, and I am very much his beloved daughter. And that fills me with more joy and excitement than I can possibly say.

That leads me to the theme of this new blog venture of mine. God has been working on my heart in a big way since then. I still have a lot of growing to do. But, I finally decided to be bold and share my story and the ways I am growing closer to my Father. I want to help other women grow in a more intimate, loving, and heart-changing relationship with Him.

We get so bogged down like so many of the pharisees in Jesus’ day about everything we are doing right. Truth be told, while it is important to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which we have been called” (Ephesians 4:1), it means nothing unless our hearts are totally in love with Him. That love is what changes us; not trying to do everything perfectly. While we must strive for that perfection, we must also realize that we must first truly, authentically, crazily, and shamelessly love our God with all of our heart, soul, and mind.

A Daughter's Journey blog will be all about the path of falling deeper in love with our Father. It will be about seeking and living a full and abundant life. It will be raw, honest, and hopefully uplifting and challenge you to seek God in a deeper way. I want to encourage you to see yourself as one with incredible value, and that you are worthwhile and precious as His daughter.

I can’t wait to share more of my heart with you in this new venture.

In Christian Love,


Chelsea